I’ve been going to “the lake” since I was a little kid. In Kansas City, “the lake” refers to the Lake of the Ozarks – a 57,000 acre lake located in central Missouri. I spent 90% of my childhood in the water, swimming, boating, skiing. I loved the water. I hated the fish. I always made my dad jump in first and scare away the fish, then I was fine. I knew that just below the surface, catfish, crappie, blue gill, and bass were just waiting to rub against my bare legs. I wasn’t afraid they were going to bite me, I just didn’t want their slimy, scaley bodies to rub against mine.
My husband, Bill, and I were invited to spend the weekend with some friends at their lake house – a gorgeous home located in a nice quiet cove. We spent Saturday riding around in the boat, looking at the beautiful houses, enjoying the 97 degree day, and most importantly, staying dry inside the boat.
This morning when I woke up, I thought I should probably blog about something that scares me and my husband suggested jumping in the water. Oh my gosh, I immediately said NO because I was afraid of the fish. Ut-oh. I’ve only been blogging for a few days and I already hate this freaking thing. I am afraid of fish. I do not want to jump in the lake. Bill said he’d jump in first and scare away the fish, then climb back out, grab the camera, and take a picture of me jumping in. I was tempted, but that would have been cheating.
I prepared to jump in. I kept counting to three. Then I thought of how when you feed Koi, they all gather together in a mad frenzy, right below the surface, to get the food that you’re tossing at them. I imagined all the fish in all 57,000 acres gathering at the end of the dock, waiting for me to jump in. The longer I waited, the more fish would be there to rub their gross, disgusting, slimey bodies against me.
So I jumped. No fish came near me (that I saw, the water was pretty murky). My friends jumped in with me and we spent the next couple of hours floating around the water on our noodles (don’t ask). It was fun. I’m still afraid of fish, but at least I jumped.
I’m now more afraid of posting the photo of my fat ass.
Edit:
I had to add this photo of the lake’s most famous catfish – he’s huge! Would you swim with him???


